5 posts tagged “the new stuff”
- my car
- my internet connection
- my front door window
- my waistline
- my sleeping pattern
"A colourful scarf will draw the eye away from the waist and de-emphasise your bump. And remember - black is always slimming."
Norah: I read today that we should take some drinking straws into the hospital with us. Then if I want to have a sip of water while I'm in labour you can keep hold of the bottle and I can take a sip from the straw. Like a boxer.
Mr Splog: Good idea. We'll do that. Or we could get you a drinking hat?
Nope. No. Noooo way. Definitely not. Haven't seen them all day. And you should probably stop looking for them.
And why is the loo brush in the sitting room?
Oh... umm... that's where I keep it now. It just makes sense.
Babe? Did you buy me a new toothbrush? Where's my old toothbrush?
Yes! It was a whim. Umm... HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! EARLY! I threw your old toothbrush away. In the outside bin. Where your brown shoes definitely can't be because I would have seen them when I threw your old toothbrush away! On a whim, as I said.
Okay. I'm just going to read the paper... oh...
I... ripped it up! I was... incensed by that story about... that thing that happened. And in my rage I ripped the paper up into little pieces and... left it on the stairs. Grrr! Boy was I angry.
Umm...Sweetie? Would I be right in assuming that it was you who did this poo on the kitchen floor too?
Yus.
